


Where The Lovelight Gleams

by heartsdesire456



Series: 25 Days of Fandom [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Light Angst, M/M, Married Characters, Military, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 00:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the past thirteen years, Steve and Bucky have said 'Merry Christmas' to each other every year. Some years, they weren't together when they said it, but when Bucky was deployed, apart from one year when Bucky's call got interrupted by action, they always managed a 'Merry Christmas' in Bucky's weekly Skype call.</p><p>It was Christmas Eve and Bucky's Skype call time had come and gone. </p><p>Steve couldn't imagine a worse Christmas than one where he didn't get to tell his husband Merry Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where The Lovelight Gleams

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Где мерцает свет любви // Where The Lovelight Gleams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7929343) by [minty_mix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minty_mix/pseuds/minty_mix)



> Also [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/4721979) for those who prefer alternate sites for Russian fic!
> 
> I started crying in the car today listening to Christmas music on the way home because the gorgeous Frank Sinatra version of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" (my favorite one) came on and my first thought was Steve's first Christmas after he woke up in the 21st century and not a single person in the world he cares about is left.
> 
> (Yes, I know, I'm insane when it comes to Stucky feels, dude. I cry about stuff like this all the time. I'm an easy-crier.)
> 
> .... sooo I immediately pulled over and texted my friend and said "I want to write a fic with modern-setting, pre-serum Steve sad on Christmas Eve cause Bucky didn't get to be home for Christmas this year" annnnnd yeah. Cute little ficlet happened!

Steve glanced out the window once more, jiggling his leg anxiously. The snow was coming down harder every time he glanced up. He looked at the clock and knew that he was pushing it as it was. He’d have to run to get to work on time, and in the cold his asthma was more likely to act up when he ran. He looked back at the computer but the screen still had nothing to offer him. Bucky’s Skype time had come and gone, but he didn’t want to risk missing it. 

It was Christmas Eve, after all, and if ever there was a week to NOT miss Bucky’s Skype call, it was Christmas. If he couldn’t have him home, he had to at least see him on a screen and hear his voice.

_“I’ve got some bad news,” Bucky had said the first week of November, during their weekly Skype call, a tradition they had held for the past year that Bucky had been in Afghanistan. “I got an extension.”_

_Steve’s heart had sank. “How long?” he asked in a small, sad tone. Bucky was supposed to be two weeks from coming home._

_Bucky gave him an apologetic look, eyes full of sadness. “Until January-“_

_“January?!” Steve parroted, voice rough as a lump grew in his throat. “But- But you were supposed to be back in time for-“ Steve stopped, eyes burning._

_Bucky nodded solemnly. “I know, Stevie. This’ll be three Christmases in a row.” He rubbed a hand over his head, sighing. “I wasn’t supposed to have two back to back deployments, Steve. I’m sorry. I know I promised I’d never miss it again-“_

_“It’s not your fault,” Steve said hoarsely, looking at the pain in Bucky’s eyes. Even over a shitty connection on a screen he could tell how much it was hurting Bucky, too. “I know you have a job to do. It’s not-“ Steve paused and shook his head. “It’s not you’re fault, but it’s not right,” Steve said simply. “I spent ten Christmases with you, and then we get married and I haven’t got to spend a single Christmas with my husband in three years of marriage. I fuckin’ hate it, Bucky.”_

_Bucky smiled sadly. “I know, Stevie. But in January, I’m home for good. No more Afghanistan.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes. “Unless they get back in Iraq and send you there again-“_

_“No,” Bucky said firmly. “Five tours is more than enough. If it looks like that might happen, I’ll get out. I’ve fulfilled my obligation. I can get an honorable discharge whenever I need to.” He gave Steve that smile that always made Steve’s chest swell with warmth, the smile that he’d fallen in love with. “I promise.”_

_Steve had just nodded and let it go._

Steve looked at the clock, at the snow, and back at the screen one more time before realizing with a pang that Bucky wasn’t going to call. In all Bucky’s tours, they hadn’t ever missed a call before except for the time the delivery truck in front of Bucky’s team’s truck had hit an IED and Bucky had been stuck helping keep an eye out for threats while that was dealt with. Steve didn’t sleep for two days after Bucky told him about the people killed in that blast, because at any time that could be Bucky. 

Steve decided then and there to give up and go to work. He closed his laptop and shrugged on his coat in a hurry, keen to get running and block out any fears of Bucky missing their call for a terrible reason.

~

When Steve got to the coffee shop where he worked, he stumbled into the back, hands already frantically tugging at his pockets until Natasha, the owner, snapped at him to ‘hold still’ and dug his inhaler out of his coat pocket and shoved it in his mouth. “Dammit, Rogers, if you die here I’ll have to close while they come get your body,” she groused as he sat down on the upturned mop bucket and caught his breath.

“S-Sorry. I- I-“

“Yeah, yeah, date night with the other Mr. Rogers,” she grumbled and his heart sank. It must’ve showed in his face because she frowned. “What’s wrong? You two have a fight?”

Steve worried his bottom lip, glancing down at his inhaler, turning it in his fingers as he shrugged. “He didn’t call,” he said softly. He looked up at Natasha. “He’s only ever missed once, and that’s cause the truck in front of his hit an IED-“

“Don’t even go thinking something like that, Rogers,” Natasha said firmly. She squatted down in front of him and put a hand on his skinny wrist. “James is fine, I’m sure.”

He looked at the hand on his wrist and his eye caught on the glint of gold at further up his hand. “I just-“ He swallowed, looking up as he blinked hard, trying to ignore the burning in his eyes. “We only get half an hour each week and it’s _Christmas Eve_.” He snorted bitterly. “Our third anniversary was in October. He hasn’t been home for an anniversary or the holiday season since he left two weeks after we got married. I thought I was finally going to get him home for Christmas and now, I don’t even get to talk to him this week.” He glanced up at her. “I’ve got to tell him Merry Christmas every year for the past thirteen Christmases, Natasha, but not this one. Even if he’s fine, I still-“ He stopped and bit at his bottom lip, fighting the urge to cry. He refused to get emotional over something as petty as not talking to Bucky when he was lucky enough that he had a husband at all. 

Natasha smiled and ruffled Steve’s hair. “You still miss your husband? The only family you have? Trust me, Steve. You’re allowed to be upset,” she said gently. “I remember Christmas alone, you know?” she said, surprising Steve. She never talked about her past. “Christmas alone doesn’t feel like Christmas.”

He shook his head, smiling sadly. “No. It really doesn’t.”

“But you’re in luck,” she said, standing up. She grabbed his hand and tugged him up easily. “I know we’re not your husband, but tomorrow, you’re coming over at eleven, helping us cook a big, late Christmas lunch, and you, me, Bruce, Clint, and Sam. We’re doing Christmas at my place.” Steve gave her a grateful smile and Natasha cupped his cheek. “Family doesn’t need blood or binding legal document to be family.”

Steve ducked his eyes and grinned. “Thanks, Nat.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “If I wasn’t married and you didn’t have a sugar daddy, I’d totally marry you,” he teased, a long-standing joke between them. 

Natasha snorted. “Come on. We’ll finish tonight’s shift and go back to your place, pick up stuff, then you can come stay with us tonight. If we’re lucky, Bruce’s best friend won’t come try to play Santa by breaking in and leaving expensive shit we don’t need everywhere.” Steve laughed loudly because he knew she wasn’t joking, he’d seen it the year before.

“Sounds good,” he said, letting her sling an arm around his middle to lead him out to the front so they could get to work. 

~

They were extremely busy that night. From what Steve gathered, the mall down the street was having last minute, Christmas Eve sales, so there were tons of shoppers doing last minute shopping. It was almost busier than they had been on Thanksgiving night or Black Friday, Steve figured. They were doing well though. No major back-ups with Clint and Natasha making drinks while Steve ran the cash register. 

They were moving so fast that Steve was still putting cash in the register from the last person who paid exact change and moved on when the next person in line’s shadow fell on the counter. “Hi, what can I get started for you?” he asked mechanically, trying to sort out all the coins he’d been handed.

And that’s when it happened.

“You know,” an oddly familiar voice started, “I don’t think what I want right now is on the menu.”

Steve jumped so hard he threw pennies and quarters all over the place, some of them going as far as back out onto the shop floor, one even landing in the sink where Natasha was washing mugs. He knew she glared at him, but he didn’t give a damn because when he looked at the person who spoke, his found bright, _beautiful_ blue eyes that he knew so well absolutely glowing with amusement that matched the little ‘gotcha’ smirk on full, pink lips that Steve knew better than his own. 

Steve didn’t know how long he stared, opening and closing his mouth without managing to make any sounds, before Bucky rolled his eyes. “Oh great. Go for a surprise and I break you,” he said, hitching his bag higher on his back. “Steve? Are you catatonic now or something?” He waved a hand in front of Steve’s face, smiling brightly when Steve’s spell broke and he swatted Bucky’s hand on instinct, only to finally realize that Bucky was _actually_ standing in front of his register.

“Holy shit!” Clint cried, a still damp mug flying out of his hands and landing on the ground with a ‘crash’. “Bucky!”

Steve laughed finally and turned to dart around the end of the pastry case, ignoring the annoyed customers who were still waiting. “Bucky!” He cried, rushing up to Bucky, who dropped his bag and caught Steve in a hug. Steve couldn’t help a whimper as Bucky hugged him just as hard as he was clinging to Bucky, his face pressed against Bucky’s chest, hands fisted in the back of his ACU fleece. “Oh my God, oh my God you’re _home_ ,” he choked out, pulling back after a few deep breaths. He looked up at Bucky, knowing that he was a few seconds from bursting into tears, and for once, he really didn’t care. “ _Bucky_ ,” he breathed, laughing wetly.

He wasn’t the only one with tears building behind his eyelashes, Steve noticed as Bucky looked down at him, his cold hand coming up to cup Steve’s face. “Hey Punk,” he said softly. “Merry Christmas.”

Steve let out a wet laugh and stood on his toes to kiss Bucky instead of replying. Bucky curled his arms around his middle, kissing him back like it was the only thing that mattered in the world. Steve heard a few ‘awwwwws’ from some customers, and when one or two grumbled something about their coffees, he heard Natasha snap at them.

“You can get coffee somewhere else if you’re that impatient, Lady. That man is an American Soldier just getting home from _Afghanistan_ , you ungrateful-“

“What Natasha means!” Clint said loudly over her insult. “Is that our friend apparently decided to surprise his husband who didn’t know he’d be home for Christmas.”

Steve heard them, vaguely, but he really couldn’t care, because he still hadn’t stopped kissing his husband, who was _right there_ , and who was _safe_ , and was _home_. Finally.

When they broke apart, Steve was panting, lungs still not recovered from his near-asthma attack earlier, but he didn’t really care as he laughed breathlessly, running a hand over Bucky’s hair. “You didn’t tell me.”

Bucky shrugged. “I wanted to surprise you. And I wasn’t totally sure I’d get home in time for Christmas, so I didn’t want to disappoint you, so I lied about the extension.”

Steve glared. “If you’d lied about that, you’d have been home a month ago,” he accused and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“I lied about how long it was, I knew I was heading home today, I just didn’t know-“

“I forgive you,” Steve interrupted, standing on his toes to peck Bucky’s lips. “I’m in a good enough mood to let it slide, Jerk.”

Bucky smirked again, pushing Steve’s bangs out of his eyes. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” he asked teasingly.

Steve grinned. “Well, I don’t know if you’ve met ‘em, but my husband is home for Christmas for the first time since he became my husband.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow in mock curiosity. “What a bum, skipping out on them Christmases before. Must be handsome for you to let him off the hook for that.”

Steve snickered. “I dunno, he’s kinda funny lookin’”

“Heeeeeey,” Bucky said in a playfully warning tone. Steve just beamed.

“Nah, he’s sort of beautiful,” he said in a gentler, more sincere tone. “Hell of a sight for sore eyes. Haven’t seen him in a year.”

Bucky’s smile softened and he hugged Steve closer, pressing his lips to Steve’s forehead as he hugged him. “I’m home now, Stevie. For good.”

Steve closed his eye and nestled into Bucky’s chest, cheek pressed against the warm ‘thump’ of his heart. “I can’t tell you have happy I am right now, Buck. I love you so much.”

“Good thing, too, since you married me ‘n all,” Bucky murmured against his hair. Steve poked his side and Bucky chuckled, the low tone making his chest vibrate. “I love you, too, Stevie. ‘Til the end of the line, right, Punk?”

“Mmmm, sounds perfect,” Steve all but whispered, squeezing his eyes shut tight as the lump in his throat became painful. “ _Bucky_ ,” he breathed and Bucky’s arms tightened around him.

“I got you, Stevie,” he promised. 

In the background, Steve heard Clint open the second register so that Bucky and Steve weren’t blocking the line still, and he vaguely recognized Natasha telling Steve she’d clocked him out, but he still needed a few more minutes before he wanted to move the inches it took to let go of Bucky so they could head home. When he finally took a fortifying breath and pulled back to look up at him, Bucky just smiled, stroking a hand over the back of his hair. “Ready to go home?” he asked, and Steve nodded, reluctantly releasing Bucky from his embrace.

“You have no idea how ready.”

Bucky laced his fingers into Steve’s even as he bent down to pick up his duffel bag and sling it over his shoulder again. “I’ve got some idea, trust me,” he said, giving Steve a cheesy, wolfish grin as he looked him up and down. “Has been a year since I saw anything half as good lookin’ as you,” he joked.

Steve laughed and turned to wave at Natasha. “Sorry for leaving you short-staffed,” he started, but she just glared at him.

“Rogers, you’re not sorry for shit, now get your skinny ass home before I tell your husband about you giving yourself an asthma attack earlier,” she said and Steve glared at her as he felt Bucky look at him even before he cleared his throat pointedly.

“You did what now?” Bucky asked and Steve flipped Natasha off as he dragged Bucky with him to head to the back where his stuff was by the back door.

Natasha just smirked. “Don’t forget! Eleven tomorrow! I don’t care if you don’t sleep a wink tonight, you’re showing up at eleven or I’ll come throw the party at your place no matter how naked you two are!” she shouted after them as they left through the back.

“Yeah, yeah, you’d be ruined for all men if you saw Steve naked, and you know it,” Bucky called back, snickering when Steve rolled his eyes and Clint made dramatic gagging sounds. When Steve got his coat zipped up, he turned back just in time for Bucky to loop his scarf around his neck and pull him in with it. “God knows I was,” he said, his tone lacking the joke Steve knew was there. Bucky just looked at him for a long moment and the shook his head. “Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to Steve’s jaw. “I’m a lucky man.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “ _You_ ’re lucky?” He slid his now-gloved hand into Bucky’s. “I get to have Christmas with my husband.”

Bucky squeezed his hand, giving him a warm, tender look. “Me, too.”

The weight behind his words was more than Steve had ever heard from the usually half-serious-at-best Bucky, so all he could do was smile, open the door, and say the one thing he wanted to tell Bucky most.

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.”


End file.
